


Came Here To Forget

by WhyDoIWrite



Series: Conversations in the Dark [5]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Camp, F/F, KMewett, Lesbian Sex, She's been crushing, Smut with a happy ending, Strap-On, The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new, USWNT, We are not calling them Kronnett, smut with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyDoIWrite/pseuds/WhyDoIWrite
Summary: Kristie hasn't been able to get over Rach. Luckily, Sonnett's there to help her forget. And to be patient.
Relationships: Emily Sonnett/Kristie Mewis
Series: Conversations in the Dark [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795090
Comments: 60
Kudos: 218





	1. Almost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Here_to_read1818](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Here_to_read1818/gifts).



> If you love it, say thanks to Here_to_read1818, because this was not my idea.  
> If you hate it, blame my writing, because this pairing was a great idea, and it became an even better idea after we got Sonnett content from Kristie this morning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me, Son,” Kristie’s fingers begin to explore just under the hem of Sonnett’s shirt. “It’s been like four months.”

**Conversations in the Dark**

**Once...**

“You ok?” Kristie bumps Sonnett’s shoulder with her own and leans over the railing with her, watching the goings on below. 

“Yep. Fine,” Sonnett mumbles unconvincingly, not even trying to add a little enthusiasm to her voice; she’s known Kristie for too long to bother. It’s been a challenging couple of days. In the hours upon hours she spent alone in Sweden, she had forgotten how draining it is having to be on all the time. “How are you doing?” she asks, turning to look at Kristie, and finally taking the time to _really_ look at her. Her eyes are duller than normal, face drawn. She’s not the happy, bubbly Kristie Sonnett used to know, the one who was equally loud and equally insane. Maybe moreso; Kristie's crazy eyes beat out just about everyone else's.

Kristie gives a little half-chuckle. She hasn’t had a chance to hang out with Sonnett much in the past couple of years, but she’s the same ol’ Sonnett, unchanged by time or circumstance, still putting everyone else first. “Yeah, I’m good,” Kristie lies, choosing the standard, acceptable response. That seems easier than the truth, because the truth comes with tears all these months later. Thankfully, even though Sonnett probably can tell, she doesn’t push it. “I feel really lucky that I get to spend Thanksgiving with Sam.”

“Not luck, Kristie. You _earned_ this. I watched all the games. You’re on fire. This was so deserved.”

Yep, definitely still the same ol’ Sonnett, Kristie thinks. “Thanks,” she blushes, taken aback by her own nerves, by how Sonnett’s words affect her. There’s something about a Sonnett compliment – about how effortlessly and freely she gives them – but unlike others who do so with the same ease, Sonnett’s are always genuine. And now, like always, Kristie can hear the heartfelt nature of her words. Sonnett may hide parts of herself sometimes, but she doesn’t ever try to hide the admiration she has for other people. “The holidays are probably going to be hard,” Kristie admits. “I mean, at least it feels like it already, you know? So I’m glad I’m here with Sam and I’m glad she’s coming home for a bit.” She runs her hand through her hair and sighs. “You miss Lindsey?” she asks, smoothly shifting the focal point of their conversation in mere seconds.

“Yeah. Of course. But it’s not the same as your… situation,” Sonnett continues down her path of deflecting. “You’re gonna be ok, Kristie.” Sonnett rests her hand over Kristie’s on top of the rail. The two stand side by side in silence, looking out over the room, at the clusters of their teammates laughing and talking, playing cards, scrolling through their phones. “It’s a lot sometimes, huh? Everyone’s cliques?” 

Stanford group is already strategizing for 5v5. Rose is holding court with all the rookies. Sam, Christen, and Tobin are cooing over Charlie. 

“This whole year has been a lot,” Kristie says quietly, and Sonnett knows what she means, even if she has been single-ish for long enough that the pain of having a years-long relationship end is not in the forefront of her working memory. All she can think to do in the moment is to give Kristie’s hand a reassuring squeeze because there’s not much else to do to make it better.

“I’m always here if you need a shoulder to cry on. I have pretty good shoulders, I think,” Sonnett smirks. “At least they’ve worked for Lindsey a few times. This one’s better,” Sonnett flexes a little as she points to her left shoulder. She gives Kristie a wink. “Come on, let’s go be social.”

* * *

A soft knock on the communicating door startles Sonnett out of bed. When they have adjoining rooms on the road, those doors are almost always open, but not having stayed in a hotel in almost nine months, and with new COVID protocols, she’d all but forgotten that door existed. She hops out of bed, pads across the room, and opens it to Kristie’s sad face.

“Busy?” Kristie asks hoarsely. The redness at the corners of her eyes gives her away, and Sonnett knows immediately it’s not soccer, because Kristie was amazing on the pitch today. And it’s not homesickness either, Sam in camp with her. Rachel is the only person who has the power to make Kristie sad enough that she’d cry, sad enough that she’d be so in need of comfort that she’d _let_ someone know she cried.

“Nah,” Sonnett shakes her head without hesitation, because even if she were busy, she’d put Kristie first. “Kicked Rose out a little while ago because she wouldn’t stop sending me memes, from my own damn bed. And um, now I’m just watching this TV I can’t understand. So yeah, you’re pretty much a welcome distraction,” Sonnett nervously rub at the back of her neck as she realizes that Kristie is only in a t-shirt and underwear.

That seems to cheer Kristie up a little, being welcomed in and the effect she has on Sonnett. “You know you have a laptop. And wifi. You can watch anything, dumbass,” Kristie pushes Sonnett’s shoulder, enough to make space so she can squeeze into the room.

“I already watched it all. In Sweden.”

“Everything?” Kriste laughs skeptically. “Like you watched _all_ the TV?” she flails her arms around trying to prove her point, that that’s impossible.

“Yep. Gets dark early. Lots of hours to watch all the TV. And all the movies.”

“Whatever. I can find something that you haven’t watched all the seasons of.” Kristie surveys the room and plops down on the bed with the disturbed comforter. Sonnett looks at her for a second, shrugs, and hands Kristie her laptop off the nightstand. “Sure you don’t want to have a say in this?” Kristie asks, giving Sonnett one more chance. “We can re-watch whatever your favorite show is.”

“Nope. You pick,” Sonnett shakes her head, convinced that she’ll be content with anything Kristie picks just because Kristie is there. She watches Kristie sit back against the pillows, settling comfortably into her bed. “Are you ok?” she finally asks, because she needs to know even if Kristie seems to have no intention of talking about it.

Kristie ignores the question. “You can’t see from way over there. Scoot,” Kristie pats the mattress next to her, but Sonnett doesn’t budge, continuing to study her face. Kristie lets out an aggravated sigh. “Fine,” she mutters, closing the gap between them until their thighs are almost touching and she’s close enough to balance the laptop between them.

“But… you’re not ok,” Sonnett starts. It’s one thing for her to keep her feelings to herself, but it bothers her to no end watching one of her friends keep her feelings bottled up when the breakup is so obviously eating away at her. “You can talk to me, Kristie. Or if not me, Sam maybe? Someone?”

Kristie sniffs before meeting Sonnett’s eyes. “I can’t talk to Sam, she adores Rach.” Before Sonnett can even argue that sisterly love trumps all, Kristie is speaking again, more definitively this time. “I’m fine. Or I will be. Really. Can we just watch this and not talk about it?”

Sonnett nods, and hearing the intro of Top Chef, turns her attention back to the laptop. While the show plays, she finds herself unable to focus, her mind clouded by what Kristie is going through and how she can make things better, and occasionally by other thoughts. Thoughts she shouldn’t be thinking. Probably not ever because they’re friends, but certainly not now when Kristie is vulnerable. But Kristie is the hottest woman Sonnett knows, so telling her brain to turn off is a lot harder than it should be. Dressed down or gussied up, Kristie always looks amazing. Maybe Sonnett has let her mind wander before, maybe she’s fantasized, but Kristie’s always been in a relationship, so it wasn’t like those thoughts were ever going to play out. Hell, she’s smart enough to know that even if Kristie were single - like she is now - she’s way out of Sonnett’s league anyway, so it’s never mattered. But sitting this close to her, under the covers, with no one else around, it’s harder to move past those thoughts now. Sonnett’s fingers nervously tap on her thigh as she tries to stop fixating on the beauty sitting next to her and start focusing on an episode that she’s already seen.

“Are you bored?” Kristie asks almost sheepishly. The show has been background noise to her for a while now, and if she is judging by the way Sonnett has been so restless, it feels like that’s all these episodes have been to Sonnett, too. It certainly hasn’t been the distraction Kristie was after, although the more she thinks about it, the more the wonders if the distraction she was after was actually on the screen, or was something else entirely. Out of the corner of her eye, Kristie notices a little grin tugging at the corners of Sonnett’s mouth. “You’ve seen all these before?” Sonnett’s grin grows into a full smile. “Oh my God, have you seen all 17 seasons?!? There’s no way!”

“I told you. I’ve seen all the things. _All_ of them.”

“Damnit, Sonnett! I really thought I found something that wouldn’t bore you. Why didn’t you just tell me?” Kristie pokes her in the ribs good-naturedly and Sonnett immediately jumps, trying to get away. “You’re ticklish!” Kristie sounds surprised. “How did I not know this about you?”

“There’s lots you don’t know about me. But _that_? Can you imagine if it got out? I’d be dead. They’d never leave me alone.” Kristie’s expression turns almost devilish. “Don’t,” Sonnett warns.

Kristie looks like she’s about to completely ignore Sonnett, but she stops and becomes solemn again. “Does that offer still stand?”

Sonnett doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t have to. She simply raises her arm enough for Kristie to scoot up against her. They’re friends. They have been for years - her, Kristie, Sam, and Steph. It’s not weird with their thighs pressed together now. There’s no awkwardness in Sonnett’s arm around Kristie’s shoulder. At least there shouldn’t be. At least there isn’t for Kristie, Sonnett assumes. But for Sonnett, the overwhelmingness of the situation starts to wash over her and she rushes to hit play on the show, hoping it will continue to provide a distraction from Kristie’s long, bare legs. Or at least that the volume will cover up the sound of her pounding heart.

“Son, we really don’t have to watch this…”

“No, it’s fine. The more times I watch, the better I’ll get in the kitchen. What woman doesn’t want someone who can cook all sorts of fancy shit like this, right?”

“True,” Kristie agrees. “I’m probably gonna end up starving without...” her voice fades.

“Oh, come on,” Sonnett rolls her eyes, “you’re not Rose. You’ll survive.”

Kristie lets out a laugh. “Now _that_ is sooo true. What would she do without Pat?”

“No way she would have even gone to England on her own. I don’t think they have Chipotle. She really would have starved. You…" Sonnett looks her up and down, "well you can probably make grilled cheese without burning it.”

They slip back into silence as another episode starts, but within a few minutes, Kristie’s restlessness gets the best of her. “I think Lindsey lied to you,” she says teasingly. “You’re too pointy to be good for this.”

Sonnett scoffs at that. “You’re not doing it right. Don’t you know how to cuddle?” Before she can even give it a second thought, she pulls Kristie in closer - the same way she would Lindsey - coaxing Kristie to sink even more heavily against her. “Relax,” Sonnett gives Kristie’s shoulder a little squeeze. Soon, Kristie is turning into her and draping her leg over Sonnett’s, grateful for the comfort and the human touch. Then, it’s Sonnett who needs to take her own advice, especially when Kristie moves her hand from her lap and rests it lightly on Sonnett’s chest. Sonnett tries to keep her breathing steady, but she feels like she’s failing. This full-body hug Kristie has her in feels like something more than a response to her innocent shoulder squeeze. Kristie’s fingers drumming on Sonnett’s sternum feel purposeful. And Kristie’s foot, climbing up her calf, feels completely different than any of the other times she’s taken care of her friends after a breakup or being cut from a team. Those are things she’s done - a lot - because Sonnett really does have the best shoulders and chest and arms for cuddling, and she’s better at taking care of people than most anyone. She’s who everyone turns to for comfort, which is what makes it hard for her to seek it from her friends when she needs it.

Kristie lets out a deep, contented sigh, and the way she snuggles even closer makes Sonnett think that Kristie might let herself fall asleep like this, which… well… that might be better than Kristie snuggled up to her awake. Aware of Sonnett's racing heartbeat. Aware of her unsteady breathing. Aware of the extreme heat she feels radiating from her own skin.

But she’s Sonnett. And she’s cocky. And she still knows how to put up a front when she needs to. “Well?” Sonnett asks, and Kristie can hear the self-satisfaction dripping in her voice.

“Well what?” Kristie pulls away to tip her chin up so she can see the younger woman’s bright eyes, smiling back at her.

“How’s the shoulder?”

“It’s a good shoulder,” Kristie pats it before settling her head back against Sonnett.

“Yeah, I know. It’s the best.”

“Oh shut up!” Kristie pokes her in the ribs again, right where she’s ticklish. This time, Sonnett almost falls off the bed, left with nowhere to go when she tries to get away. Kristie closes the laptop and sets it aside, turning back towards Sonnett with a look in her eye like a predator about to hungrily devour its prey.

“Kristie, please...” Sonnett begs

“Kristie please what?”

“Please don’t.” But Kristie’s impish smile only grows as she begins to work her way out from under Sonnett’s arm. “Kristie, I’m warning you…” Sonnett catches her wrist.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Kristie asks, her fingers from her other walking up Sonnett’s thigh.

Sonnett can only swallow, hard enough that Kristie can hear it. “Don’t,” she repeats, but it’s far weaker this time.

“Don’t what?” Kristie asks softly, and for a second, Sonnett thinks she actually has a chance to stop the torture before it starts. She should have known better. The thought flashes in her mind - in the split second before Kristie easily overpowers her - that as much as she hates being tickled, maybe she wants this delicious torture. And then Kristie’s over her, pressing her back against the pillows, and alternating between attacking Sonnett’s ribs and squeezing her thigh just above her knee. How she finds that spot so quickly is beyond Sonnett's comprehension; both make her jerk and twitch involuntarily under Kristie, and her squeal fills the room. “Shhh,” Kristie whispers, not relenting. “I’m not supposed to be in here and you’re loud! Man up, Sonnett!”

Sonnett whimpers, and when she realizes there’s no way she can get Kristie off her, she resorts to sliding lower against the mattress, trying to escape out from under Kristie.

As quickly as Kristie started tickling Sonnett, she suddenly stops, pinning Sonnett’s arms to the mattress and hovering mere inches above her. It gives Sonnett a chance to breathe again. It also gives her a chance to process the fact that Kristie is holding her down, thigh slotted in between Sonnett’s legs, still staring at her hungrily. But this time, it’s different. This time, her eyes are softer, not mischievous. “Why’d you watch a bunch of episodes you’ve already watched?” she asks, squinting down at the smaller woman.

“I already told you why,” Sonnett rasps out. 

“I don’t believe you.”

Sonnett blinks up at her. There’s a lot to it, and what she goes with is the truth, even if it is a partial truth. “Because it was about you. About what you needed. I didn’t care what you watched, I just wanted you to not have to think about it… about her... for awhile.”

“Well it worked,” Kristie whispers, and Sonnett swears she leans just a fraction of an inch lower as she says it.

Before she can stop herself, before she can think about what she’s doing, Sonnett is pushing herself up onto her elbows, crashing their lips together. Kristie doesn’t even hesitate to kiss her back, latching onto Sonnett’s lower lip and pulling her closer before pushing her back down into the bed. Sonnett almost allows herself to get lost in the deepness of the kiss, lost like she feels Kristie becoming, but then she remembers. Remembers that this is Sam’s sister. Remembers that Kristie is her friend. Remembers that her friend went through a bad breakup not too long ago. And more importantly, remembers that she offered to be a good friend, nothing more - and good friends don’t do this. She pushes Kristie off her with a start.

“Fuck! I’m sorry!” Sonnett’s voice shakes with the panic she’s filled with, finally getting what she’s wanted only to realize she shouldn’t have.

“Sonnett,” Kristie says calmly, but the evenness of Kristie’s voice is lost on the younger woman. 

“Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry, Kristie. I took advantage- ”

“Sonnett.” Kristie’s voice is steady and unbothered as she cuts Sonnett off again.

“It’s just… I’ve had a crush on you forever. I mean, who wouldn’t, really. But it-”

“Is that so?” Kristie interrupts Sonnett's rambling, sitting up as Sonnett does, crossing her legs under her and letting her hand fall on Sonnett’s knee.

That hand burns Sonnett’s skin in a way that makes her want to get away, except she can’t, because she owes Kristie a better apology and also because Kristie’s hazel eyes are paralyzingly beautiful. “Yeah, but it didn’t give me the right to take advantage of you like that. You came to me for comfort and now look.”

“Comfort can take many forms,” Kristie smiles a small, sad smile. But her hand climbs higher up Sonnett’s thigh, hopefully. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

The heat from Kristie’s hand doesn’t stop on Sonnett’s thigh, spreading between her legs and up into her chest. “Be- because- because you're Sam’s sister,” she stammers. “And because you’re… you’re _you_!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kristie teases her index finger along the cut of Sonnett’s thigh.

“You’re… God will you just…” Sonnett gets flustered. “Look at you.”

“Look at you,” Kristie parrots back. “Look at all of you,” Kristie tugs Sonnett into her lap. “You’re certainly not too bad to look at, Emily Sonnett.”

“Goddamnit.” Sonnett thinks she’s about to have a panic attack. The sweaty palms, the tightness in her chest, the lightheadedness - it all seems to be leading her down that road at the most inconvenient time imaginable.

“What?” Kristie’s voice is so soft, so sure, that it steadies Sonnett.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Sonnett blurts out, unable to stop her thoughts from becoming words in the pressure cooker she finds herself in. “What am I supposed to do?”

“What do you want to do?” 

Sonnett doesn’t answer. Can’t. Because what she wants is to taste Kristie’s lips again. What she wants is Kristie back on top of her… or under her… it doesn’t particularly matter once their clothes are off. And there’s a tiny piece of her that wants Kristie to go back to her room like this never happened because all of this seems like way too much. Like there are some fantasies that are supposed to stay as just that.  
  


“You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me, Son,” Kristie’s fingers begin to explore just under the hem of Sonnett’s shirt. “It’s been like four months. I could use a release. Couldn’t you?” Sonnett groans as Kristie lightly traces the outline of her abs. “When was the last time you- ”

“Yeah, it’s been a little while,” Sonnett cuts her off, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. It’s been twice that long since she’s had someone in her bed, but she’s not about to admit that to Kristie.

“I want you,” Kristie breathes into her ear.

On second thought, Sonnett decides there is no way she can be under Kristie right now; she wouldn’t last more than a few seconds, she fears. As it is, her hips are already reflexively grinding down on Kristie’s lap, and while Kristie doesn’t seem to mind, her hands now solidly on Sonnett’s hips and moving with her, Sonnett certainly minds. 

“Come on, Son,” Kristie murmurs between placing barely there kisses along Sonnett’s neck and jaw. “We’re friends. And we both want this.”

Sonnett opens her eyes and sits back on her heels so she can get a good look at Kristie. Before she has the opportunity to let her better judgement take over, she’s doing what she’s only dreamed of doing before, tugging Kristie’s nightshirt over her head and kissing Kristie back into the bed. 

From there, she lets Kristie set the pace, slow and gentle. They tentatively explore each other’s hot mouths, soft skin, tight nipples, and sensitive spots, and Sonnett’s thankful that they take their time because it keeps her from losing control during an experience where she feels like she should most definitely be going out of her damn mind. Kristie is smooth and full, responsive as Sonnett glides her hand over Kristie’s body. It almost feels surreal, the way Kristie moans into her mouth when she pinches her nipple, and the way Kristie rubs up against her thigh searching for more when her fingers trail along Kristie’s v-line.

“Are you sure?” Sonnett asks, circling her tongue around Kristie’s nipple.

"Sure," Kristie whispers, not opening her eyes.

Sonnett kisses her way down Kristie’s stomach, stopping at the waistband of her panties and waiting until Kristie gives her a little nod. With that, she slowly slides them down and discards them on the floor. She runs her hands back up Kristie’s long, tanned legs just as slowly, taking her time in case it never happens again, because she wants the way Kristie feels to stay with her forever. She settles between Kristie’s legs, dropping kisses on the soft skin of her inner thighs.

Kristie shudders with the first swipe of Sonnett’s tongue through her folds. She grabs for the sheets, but instead, finds Sonnett’s hands waiting for hers.

Even with Sonnett matching the previously-set slow tempo, it doesn’t take long before Kristie’s arching up off the bed against Sonnett’s mouth and begging. “Fuck, Sonny. Faster. Oh God, right there, don’t stop! Fuck!” Her nails dig into Sonnett's palms, but Sonnett doesn't dare pull away.

Kristie comes undone with a high-pitched cry, almost crushing Sonnett’s head between her thighs. “You taste so good, Kris,” Sonnett whispers against her center. She starts to lap up more of Kristie’s juices, lost in the taste and the smell and what she wants to do next.

“Stop.” Kristie’s voice quivers and Sonnett’s eyes immediately snap up to hers.

“Kristie, what’s wrong?” Sonnett panics, scrambling up at the sight of tears starting to form. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted- what did I do wrong?” Sonnett feels like she could cry, too.

“Nothing,” Kristie mumbles, wrapping her arms around Sonnett’s waist and burying her head in Sonnett’s chest. Sonnett can feel hot tears dampening her skin, and nothing seems even more unbelievable than Kristie's words in that moment. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Sonny. I just- I’m sorry,” Kristie manages to get out between sobs.

“No, you don’t have any reason to be sorry. This was my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Kris, what can I do?” Sonnett strokes her hair, feeling more and more helpless with every second that passes. 

“Just- can you hold me please?” Kristie sniffles.

“For sure,” Sonnett rushes to wrap her arms around the older woman, shocked that she isn’t trying to get as far away as possible right now. She leans over Kristie and grabs her shirt, helping it back over her head. “Do you want some water? What can I do?”

Kristie nods, but clings to Sonnett for a second longer before letting her out of bed. When she returns with a bottle, Kristie sits up to drink, but quickly reattaches herself to Sonnett’s side. “I’m sorry,” she repeats quietly. “I just haven’t been with anyone else in years. I didn’t realize I’d get that emotional. But you didn’t push me, Sonny. I wanted to. And it was good. You were good. So good. I just- I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Sonnett doesn’t know what to say to that. Kristie sounds like she genuinely believes it wasn’t Sonnett’s fault, but it doesn't make Sonnett feel any better about the situation. No one's ever cried in her bed before, and while the logical part of her brain _gets_ it, her heart still hurts. And she hurts for Kristie.

"Can I stay here with you tonight?" Kristie sounds like a scared child when she asks.

"Of course," Sonnett lays down, pulling Kristie down with her. "Of course you can." She kisses the top of Kristie's head. "Whatever you need. Just tell me what to do."

"Thanks, Sonny," Kristie hugs impossibly tighter to her chest. "Just don't let go til I fall asleep."


	2. Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some feelings and some birthday sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Here_to_read1818 for hashing out what I was having trouble with with me.

**Conversations in the Dark**

**Twice...**

“Sonnett, open up.”

Kristie’s voice is muffled through the double doors, but Sonnett can hear her, and ignoring Kristie’s voice somehow seems ruder than ignoring her knocking was a minute ago. 

“I know you’re in there. It’s not like we can be anywhere else.”

Sonnett gives in, gets up, and opens the door, but does a better job of blocking the entrance to her room this time. She leans against the frame like she’s unbothered, even though she’s not, and takes up enough space that Kristie doesn’t try to squeeze by. Or maybe it’s her very practiced, very unimpressed face that does the trick and stops Kristie in her tracks. 

“Can we talk?” Kristie is somber, not laughing and smiling like she was all day at meals and training and film. 

Sonnett nods. In a way, the request comes as a relief to her because talking seems like a much better idea than what they tried last night. Talking can’t really go wrong. And while Krisite hasn’t been ignoring her - the opposite is true, in fact; Kristie’s hung out in Sonnett’s proximity all day - last night has been weighing heavily on her all day, so she could stand a chat, to figure things out. To make sure they can still be friends. 

The more she thinks about what happened, the more she hates herself for making Kristie cry. And the more she thinks about that, the more she panics about Sam finding out. Kristie’s sister would flip if she knew they slept together, but Sonnett’s pretty certain the gentle giant that is Sam Mewis would kill her if she found out they slept together when Kristie was clearly not over Rachel and in a fragile emotional state.

“Oh come on, I’m not going to stand here in the doorway and talk to you.”

“We’re really not supposed to be in each other’s rooms.” Sonnett knows it’s a weak argument, but it’s all she has.

“Seriously?” Kristie rolls her eyes. 

Sonnett lets out a huff and steps aside, but when Krisite sits on Sonnett’s bed again, Sonnett opts for a chair. She learned her lesson last night. No bed sharing. No TV. No cuddling. No comfort. 

Distance. 

Distance is definitely the way to go. And it’s surprisingly easy to not be drawn to Kristie this time with last time fresh in her mind. Post-coital tears will do that.

“Can you not be so dramatic?” Kristie almost snaps at her. Sonnett bites her lip but stays silent. “I’m sorry,” she softens. “Sonny, just come here.”

“I’m fine right here. Last time I was in that bed with you, I made you cry.”

“You’re being serious?” Sonnett nods solemnly. “I already told you, you didn’t make me cry. Please,” Kristie pleads with her eyes. “Come sit with me.”

And how’s Sonnett supposed to say no to that, really? To her friend who just wants to talk. Her very sad, very attractive friend who is sitting on her bed asking - no begging, practically - for Sonnett to sit with her. “Fine,” Sonnett grumbles, sitting on her own bed, still very, very determined to stay as far away as possible from Kristie this time. 

But all of that resolve crumbles when Kristie tucks herself under Sonnett’s arm and pulls the covers up over both of them, all the way up to her chin, and she looks so cute and so small and Sonnett just wants to protect her forever. “You didn’t make me cry,” Krisite repeats.

“You cried,” Sonnett states simply, because it is a fact. “We had sex and then you cried. What am I supposed to think?”

Kristie lets out a heavy sigh. “Look, maybe we should have taken things slower, except…”

“Except what?” Sonnett asks, interest piqued, even if she doesn’t want to be too hopeful.

“I didn’t want to take it slow. I wanted you.” Kristie places her hand on Sonnett’s thigh and Sonnett decides that maybe death now would be preferable to being murdered by Sam later. “I meant it when I told you that. You made me feel attractive again,” Kristie explains.

Sonnett scoffs at that. “As if _you_ could ever be unattractive.”

“I felt like it. For months I’ve felt like it. Until you kissed me. Until it was so obvious that you wanted me.”

Sonnett would be bothered by how “obvious” it was that she wanted Kristie, if she wasn’t more bothered by the fact that Kristie felt unwanted, unlovable. “How is that even possible? You’re like…” and Sonnett doesn’t particularly want to admit this, because she already told Kristie she was hot and that should be plenty. But it also breaks her heart that Kristie could ever feel unattractive, and if there’s anything she can do to make her feel better, she figures she should just come right out and say it. “You’re like… like… everyone’s dream girl. I fantasize about you. And if you ever repeat that to anyone, I will claim that I was lying to make you feel better about yourself.”

Kristie stares at her, at the crimson spreading from her cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears and the way she’s nervously clenching and unclenching her jaw. It makes her want to kiss Sonnett again on the spot, that she can make someone flushed and flustered enough to admit something so personal. She hesitates before speaking again, but decides if Sonnett can open up to her, she can reveal the truth about the demise of her relationship, something she hasn’t told another soul. “She cheated on me,” Kristie says, and despite her best effort, her voice breaks.

Sonnett’s eyes widen. She doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how that’s possible, how someone could ever cheat on Kristie. And now she feels like shit again, making Kristie think about it all over again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Sam said…”

“Sam doesn’t know. I told her we were just at different places in our lives and that we ended it on good terms and we’d still be able to play together.”

“But _are_ you still gonna play together?”

“Yeah. It’s my job. I can be professional, and I don’t want to leave Houston. Neither does she. Doesn’t mean we have to be best friends though. I tried to forgive her. She said it was a one time thing and she was sorry, but…”

“She broke your trust.”

“Yeah,” Kristie sniffles a little. “And it made me feel like I’d never be able to trust anyone again. But Sonny, I felt safe with you. Safe enough to sleep with you. Even if it didn’t really mean anything, it meant something to feel good again. I know you and you’re like the best person I’ve ever met, so it’s easy to feel safe with you. So um…” Kristie takes a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to ask for what she wants, “can you keep helping me forget?”

“Nope. Not a chance,” Sonnett answers immediately and flatly, not even taking the time to think that maybe - definitely - she should feel flattered right now.

Kristie looks at her in complete shock. That wasn’t the response she was expecting at all. “Sonnett, come on. We’re friends. It’s not a big deal. It’s just sex.”

“Do you know what it does to a girl’s ego when you cry after sex?”

“If it makes you feel better, I cried when I had sex with her after I found out. When I was trying to make it work.”

“Nope. That does not make me feel better. At all.”

“But that was different. That was pain. Last night was more like… relieved tears.”

“Relief?”

“That I could sleep with someone else. That there’s life after her. That I can get over her and I don’t have to be lonely forever.”

“You don’t have to be alone. But I can’t be the one- ”

Kristie cuts her off with a kiss. Sonnett jumps back, but Kristie hooks her fingers behind Sonnett’s jaw and pulls her closer again. “I need someone that’s different, that’s not her, but I can’t be with a stranger. Being with you was different in a good way. I want _you_ to make me forget. I _need_ to forget. What she tasted like. The weight of her hands on my body. The way she filled me. I need to forget it all. Please Sonny,” Kristie whispers, her lips so close that Sonnett can almost feel them on her own again.

For the second time in as many days, she lets the ache between her legs get the better of her and kisses Kristie back.

* * *

The ding of Sonnett’s phone stirs her awake. She rubs her eyes, but still can’t make out the small print on her phone. _Must be because I’m getting old_ , she jokes to herself, bummed that there’s no one in the other bed to laugh. Or to tell her she’s not old. It has to be Lindsey though, she assumes; it’s not even all that late in Denver. Then the notification on her phone comes into focus.

It’s not Lindsey.

**Kristie** : hbd, hottttt stuff!!!!

 **Sonnett** : Ew. You’re literally next door and I get a text instead of an in-person happy bday? What kind of shit is that?

 **Kristie** : I seem to recall that a few days ago, you didn’t want to let me back into your room.

 **Sonnett** : people can change their minds. I changed my mind night before last, and the night before that...

 **Kristie** : open the fucking door, Sonnett

Sonnett does, to Kristie standing on the other side of the threshold, still in her robe. 

“It’s really fucking early, you know that?” Sonnett leans against the doorway and reaches out for Kristie’s waist. 

Kristie surprises her with a kiss, walking her back into the room, continuing to drop slow, gentle pecks along her jaw in between sentences. “I know. But there are things I want to do before we have to go to breakfast. You want me to go back to my room? I can let you sleep a little longer.”

“Nope. Nope. I’m awake now. Might as well stay that way.” Kristie leans in for another kiss but Sonnett stops her. “Wait. You brushed your teeth already. And God, you did your hair. Why?” Sonnett doesn’t wait for an answer, too excited about what’s in store for her. “Don’t go anywhere, I’m just gonna brush my teeth,” Sonnett ducks under Kristie’s arm and scurries to her bathroom. Thirty seconds later, she’s back. “Good enough. Now where were we?”

“Happy birthday,” Kristie whispers in Sonnett’s ear, and then with a single hand to her chest, she pushes her back onto the bed. “You’re cute, you know that? When you blush. You should wear makeup more often.”

“I’m not blushing. And I’m not going to wear makeup.”

“Ok, but you are blushing. You’re staring at me and you’re blushing,” Kristie’s voice drips with all the confidence that has started to return. She steps between Sonnett’s legs, letting her fingers dangle and brush Sonnett’s knees. “Wanna guess what’s under my robe? Since we both know that’s what you’re blushing about.”

Sonnett gives up defending herself. “Something lacey? Black, maybe? But I don’t really care. It could be Nike briefs and a sports bra or you know, whatever, I’m not picky,” Sonnett rambles nervously.

Kristie’s laugh is throaty. “I didn’t pack lingerie for camp, silly. I would have, if I had thought about wearing it for you, but I guess I wasn’t thinking.” She starts to untie the sash that’s been keeping her robe closed.

“Wait!” Sonnett sits up suddenly, eyes sparkling. “Let me unwrap my present.”

“Oh I’m your present now?” Kristie smirks.

“Well did you get me anything else?”

“No. I didn’t think about your birthday happening while we were here.”

“Rude,” Sonnett shakes her head. “Guess that means you’re my present then,” Sonnett tugs on the shash, unknotting it. Kristie climbs over her, coaxing her back into the bed, and Sonnett watches the robe fall open, just enough to give her a glimpse of Kristie’s cleavage.

“Like what you see?” Kristie grabs Sonnett’s chin, tipping it up and forcing Sonnett to meet her gaze. Sonnett swallows hard and nods. “Good.”

Sonnett slips her hands inside Kristie’s robe until her fingertips settle in Kristie’s dimples of Venus. She can feel the heat between them, even with Kristie hovering over her, their bodies still not touching. 

Kristie shivers as Sonnett’s hands ghost over her ass. “Well keep going,” she teases her.

Sonnett blinks up at her, embarrassed that she got lost in Kristie’s eyes. “Sorry,” she mumbles. “You’re just so pretty. I could look at you forever.”

It’s Kristie’s turn to blush. It’s one thing to be called hot. Sexy. Gorgeous. She’s heard it all for as long as she can remember, from men and women both. People thirsting over her isn’t new. But Sonnett looking up at her in awe, with that soft smile and calling her pretty feels totally new. It warms her from the inside out. She caresses Sonnett’s check lightly. “You’re sweet, Emily Sonnett.” She catches a glimpse of the corners of Sonnett’s eyes crinkling right before Sonnett pulls her in for another kiss, tangling her fingers in Kristie’s long, blonde hair.

With her free hand, Sonnett works the robe off Kristie’s shoulders, letting it fall the rest of the way off her body, and then trails her fingers along Kristie’s spine. Kristie moans into her mouth, and that shocks her too. It’s one thing to feel like she’s losing herself with Sonnett between her legs or inside of her, but the way Sonnett’s hands feel on her bare skin shouldn’t be affecting her this much, making her mind cloudy, confusing her. “What do you want for your birthday?” she asks when she composes herself, letting her fingers climb under Sonnett’s sweatshirt until she’s cupping a breast in her hand and Sonnett’s hips are starting to work against hers.

“Want this off,” Sonnett’s request comes out in a little whine that makes Kristie chuckle, but she pulls her up off the mattress and works her hoodie over her head.

“What about these?” Kristie pops the elastic on Sonnett’s pj pants once she has her back against the mattress. She gets a vigorous nod in return. “You always sleep without underwear?” Kristie asks, sliding a hand up Sonnett’s inner thigh and in between her legs. 

“Shit,” Sonnett groans.

“I hope that’s a yes,” Kristie smirks, dropping a kiss just below Sonnett’s belly button. “Tell me what you want,” she moves lower, breathing over Sonnett’s center.

“Fingers, please.”

“Are all Southerns this polite?” Kristie slides one finger inside.

“Fuck!” Sonnett grits out through clinched teeth. “You should try dating one.” Kristie slides a second finger in and Sonnett’s hips jerk off the mattress. “I- I- have some- some friends in Atlanta. I can introduce you if- ”

“Shut the fuck up, Sonny,” Kristie moves up her body to kiss her, curling her fingers inside in a way that doesn’t quite shut Sonnett up, but definitely makes the formation of actual words impossible for her. She presses Sonnett’s legs apart with her own thigh so she can get the leverage she needs to bury her fingers deeper inside as Sonnett cants her hips up to give Kristie a better angle. 

Kristie starts slowly, occasionally using her palm to apply pressure to Sonnett’s clit for her to grind against. But as Sonnett’s hips start to move more erratically, Kristie focuses on her g-spot, using her weight to pin Sonnett to the bed.

“Kris...” her name is strangled in the back of Sonnett’s throat, and Kristie knows that she’s close. “Babe, I’m gonna… Fuck!” Sonnett whimpers, thighs almost crushing Kristie’s, still slotted between hers, and heels digging into the bed. Kristie swallows her moans as Sonnett comes around her fingers, trembling in ecstasy. It may be what Sonnett wanted, but it’s exactly what Kristie needs, to know that she can still do that for a woman.

“You know, I didn’t peg you for someone who would be loud in bed,” Kristie murmurs against Sonnett’s chest once the younger woman has stilled. Her index finger absentmindedly circles one of Sonnett’s pert, pink nipples. 

“Listen,” Sonnett starts, still slightly winded, “that was not my fault. It’s been awhile. Also, you have really long, really nimble fingers.” Kristie snorts. “Also, thank you. Last thing I need is Kelley harassing me for masturbating again.”

“Again?” Kristie pushes herself halfway up so she can look at Sonnett. “Do tell.”

“Never!” Sonnett pushes head back down onto her chest.

“I’m just gonna ask her. Kelley will tell anyone anything. Especially if it’s about you.” Kristie teases.

“Not if you ever want me naked again,” Sonnett hits back.

“Oh yeah? Well then I better get my fill right now,” Kristie starts kissing her way back down Sonnett’s stomach. “Or did you want my nimble fingers again?” she asks coyly. “Cause you can have whatever you want. I’m like the genie. I can grant you three wishes for your birthday.”

“I just need two,” Sonnett urges Kristie back up.

“That so?” Kristie sucks one of Sonnett’s nipples into her mouth, momentarily distracting her with a swirling tongue. But Sonnett takes a deep breath and flips them, straddling Kristie. She gently twists Kristie’s nipples between her thumbs and index fingers, smiling as Kristie starts rubbing herself against Sonnett’s center. “Is this really what you want to do with your wish?” she asks breathlessly.

“Nope,” Sonnett pops the p, still moving with Kristie. And then, much to Kristie’s chagrin, she stills right as Kristie is starting to really get worked up. “This is what I want.” She moves until she’s lined up over Kristie’s mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” Kristie whispers, taking in the view. “Yeah, ok, but Kelley’s gonna think you’re masturbating.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Sonnett says, lowering herself just enough so Kristie’s tongue can swipe through her folds. It elicits a loud, long “fuck” from Sonnett, and Kristie can’t help but giggle. 

“You sure I shouldn’t worry about you?”

Sonnett responds by dropping lower over Kristie’s mouth until Kristie is fucking her with tongue. Sonnett leans against the headboard, looking down so she can watch Kristie eat her out. In all of her fantasies, this was never one of them, and she wants the picture of Kristie’s face, wet with her slick, her neck muscles straining as she works, burned into her brain forever. But when Kristie sucks Sonnett’s clit into her hot mouth, Sonnett can’t think about the view any longer; she can’t think about anything except trying not to come because she doesn’t want it to end.

“Fuuuuckkk!” Sonnett whines, grinding down on Krisite’s face. Kristie reaches up, pinches Sonnett’s nipples in her fingers hard enough that Sonnett’s own movements create painful tugging sensations. Kristie starts flicking over Sonnett’s clit, and Sonnett has to bite down on her arm to keep from screaming. “Right there,” she manages to get out through the side of her mouth. “God don’t stop. Fuck, faster. Faster, please,” she begs, hardly able to keep supporting her own weight. She comes in Kristie’s mouth, and then again as Kristie laps up her juices, trying to be gentle around Sonnett’s swollen, sensitive clit.

“Come here, birthday girl,” Kristie’s voice is low and husky, and she can’t help but feel a little bad for how overstimulated and overwhelmed she’s left Sonnett, because she knows exactly what that feels like. “Come lay with me.” She wraps her arms around Sonnett, holding the smaller woman against her as their chests rise and fall together. Every once in awhile, Sonnett's hips spasm against her, and she can't help but smile.

“So good,” Sonnett says thickly, squirming around until she fits perfectly with Kristie’s body.

“You’re lucky it’s cold here,” Kristie teases, flipping Sonnett’s forearm over to look at her self-inflicted bite mark. “Cause I don’t know how you’d explain that away if we were in like, Orlando.”

“Also not my fault. Your tongue is as talented as your fingers.”

Kristie rolls her eyes, but secretly, after Rachel made her feel as worthless as she did, she likes hearing it. A lot. “So I guess your birthday’s off to a good start?”

“Best. Start. Ever.”

“And you’re over me waking you up early?”

“So over it.” Sonnett cuddles closer to her, trying to warm up again in the cold room.

“Good. Now go hop in the shower,” Kristie smacks her ass. “We need to get downstairs and you need to look presentable.” Sonnett props her chin on her hands and looks at Kristie intently. “What?”

“Changed my mind. I want that third wish.”

“There’s no changing your mind.”

“But my third wish benefits you,” Sonnett protests.

“Your first two benefitted me, honey,” Kristie assures her. But she decides to give in anyway, because _do people really not give into Sonnett ever,_ she wonders? “Lemme hear it. Maybe I’ll entertain it. If it’s a good one.”

Sonnett rolls off the bed, and tugs on Kristie’s hand, trying to get her to follow, but Kristie puts up some resistance, perfectly cozy in the bed. “For my third wish, I would like you to come shower with me.” Sonnett chuckles at the way Kristie’s eyes light up. “Told you it was a good wish.”


	3. Deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A goal. A celebration. An offer.  
> A glimmer of hope that more lies ahead for them.

**Conversations in the Dark**

**Thrice...**

“I think you’re going to need to turn your phone off,” Sonnett looks up from between Krisitie’s legs. “Or at least silence it. This incessant buzzing makes it hard for me to perform,” she teases, lightly pinching Kristie's hip.

“Perform?” Kristie sits up on her elbows so Sonnett can see her when she rolls her eyes, and then pushes Sonnett’s head back down. “You’re tongue is doing just fine, trust me.” But not even ten seconds later, her phone is vibrating again, and Sonnett’s attention is no longer where Kristie wants it to be. “Oh my god,” she huffs out in frustration, and rolls over to grab her phone off the nightstand. She’s about to turn it off completely when she sees who the last several texts are from. It makes her freeze.

“What?” Sonnett asks, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“N- n- nothing,” Kristie stammers, but she knows it’s unconvincing. She wishes she never checked. Wishes she turned her phone off when Sonnett came over because the congratulatory texts were still pouring in. Wishes she could get away with chunking her phone across the room right now, because breaking it would mean she wouldn’t have to deal with what she just saw.

“Kristie.” The way Sonnett says her name - a little husky in a way that’s so hot - brings her back to reality. And reality is there is a very sweet, very adorable, exquisite specimen of a woman in her bed. Suddenly, Sonnett is beside her. “Hey, are you ok? Who is it?” Her voice is as soft as her skin, and her eyes are worried and piercing, and Kristie hates herself because Sonnett doesn’t deserve the reaction that she just had to seeing Rachel’s name appear on her phone for the first time in weeks. 

“It’s Rach,” Kristie replies, her voice small.

“Ok.” Sonnett says calmly, but it doesn’t get past Kristie that she removes her hand from Kristie’s stomach and almost leans away, creating space between them without it being obvious. Kristie just wants her back, wants to go back to the warmth and safety, back to the blissful state where nothing else matters except the way Sonnett makes her feel, physically and emotionally. “You can text her back. Or call her. Whatever you need to do. I’ll go back to my room.”

“No!” It’s a little louder, a little more forceful than Kristie means for it to be.

“Well what’d she say?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t read them.”

“Read them! You know she’s just telling you how awesome you are,” Sonnett grins, and that's almost convincing. “What happened to ‘I can be professional’? Just say thanks, at least. And then turn your damn phone off!"

Kristie sighs and quickly scans the messages from Rachel. There is the congratulatory text, of course, but there’s more. A whole fucking long-ass paragraph more, but only certain phrases stand out to her, the words in between blurring together.

_I miss you._

_I’m sorry._

_I’ll be home soon._

_We should talk._

_I’ll do anything you want._

_I’ll be up for awhile. Call me?_

_Or just come here and visit me before you go back to the States._

_Please, Kris._

_I love you._

_You know I love you._

_And you love me, too._

Kristie reaches up to wipe her eyes, automatically assuming tears are already forming, but her eyes are dry. She doesn’t know what to think of it, of Rachel’s apology and declaration of love, of what it means that she’s not crying about it all again, but she has no intention of trying to figure it out right now. She types out a quick thank you, ignores the rest, shuts her phone off, and sets her phone back on the nightstand. The thud echoes in the silence.

“Yeah?” Sonnett asks cautiously. “You good?”

“Fine,” but in the drawn out moment while Sonnett studies her face intently, Kristie loses her nerve to keep up the lie. She is bothered, bothered enough that she can’t be sure she won’t start crying again, even if she isn’t now. And that, she can't risk. “Can you just hold me please?”

“Of course,” Sonnett doesn’t hesitate. “Turn over.”

For that, Kristie is thankful. Not just for having Sonnett’s arm around her almost protectively, but for the fact that Sonnett doesn’t push her to talk about it. The stillness and silence give Kristie a chance to process her feelings. The more she thinks about how right she feels in this woman’s arms, the more she understands what she really wants. Those texts don’t make her want to go back to Rach; they piss her off. The fact that Rachel has the nerve to keep asking Kristie to forgive her - after she _cheated_ , after she _left_ \- and that she feels self-important enough to ruin Kristie’s night of celebrating to do it, makes Kristie want to rage. 

_Finally_. 

She feels like herself. The self that’s passionate and fiery and outspoken. The self that’s a badass, not this meek shell of a person she somehow became. She’s spent months depressed, hating herself for not being good enough for Rachel to stay faithful, for feeling like she was the reason why Rachel went back to England, but none of that’s it. Rachel made her choices, and they have nothing to do with her. She scored a fucking goal against the team that played in the World Cup final only a year ago. She is good enough to play on the best team in the world. And she’s enough for someone who’s not Rachel. Enough what, she’s not sure - attractive, funny maybe - but she must be good enough because Sonnett’s been fawning over her all week. She makes Sonnett flustered. She makes Sonnett smile and laugh from deep in her belly. She makes Sonnett wet. So she's good enough for now, and all she can do is live in the present.

Kristie rolls over so she can face the smaller woman. “She apologized. Again. She wants another chance.”

“Oh.”

Kristie decides the only thing she cannot stand about Sonnett is how hard she is to read sometimes, though she’s pretty sure that’s by design. “But I’m good,” Kristie continues. 

“So good,” Sonnett whispers, running a hand through Kristie’s hair, and even though she knows that’s not what Kristie meant, it draws a smile from the older woman.

“You show people how to treat you. I’m not gonna show her I’m ok with her cheating on me,” Kristie says emphatically.

“Ok.”

“Ok? That’s it?”

“I think that’s a good plan,” Sonnett kisses her forehead. “You know I think you deserve someone who respects you.”

“Will you tell me how amazing I am again. Please?” Kristie’s voice turns almost needy, a stark contrast to what it was a few moments ago.

“Tell you everyday if you’ll call me.” Kristie feels like she could melt right there in bed next to this woman. “You were incredible tonight. You _are_ incredible, always have been, but tonight was something special. Two touches and you were in behind. Talk about perfect form, you even landed on your shooting foot with a defender coming on and Sari coming out. 2020’s your year, baby. I’m so glad you're getting to see all your hard work pay off.”

“Finally,” Kristie breathes out.

“You never gave up hope. No matter how unlikely it seemed. Also,” Sonnett skims her fingers along Kristie’s ribs, “in case you forgot, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen and um, I keep ending up naked in bed with you, so I’m starting to feel like maybe 2020 is turning around for me, too.”

Kristie giggles. “Tell me what makes me sexy.”

“Really? You don’t know?” Sonnett rolls her eyes and flips them, propping herself up on her elbow. Kristie shakes her head and tries to bat her eyelashes. 

“Ok, not that,” Sonnett teases, laughing at her. “You don’t know how to bat your eyelashes. But it’s ok, you’re good at all sorts of other things and you’re really pretty, so that’s an acceptable weakness.” Sonnett drops a little peck on her nose. “Now, back to business. You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re mesmerizing. I can’t even pay attention to what you’re saying to me when I’m looking in them. And you always smell nice,” Sonnett noses along Kristie’s jaw for a moment because she likes how it gives Kristie goosebumps, before getting up and straddling her. “These,” she continues, taking Kristie’s breasts in her palms, “are fucking perfect.”

“Fucking perfect, huh?” Kristie can’t help but blush.

“Mmhmm,” Sonnett leans down and begins dropping kisses down Kristie’s chest. She stops to nibble on Kristie’s abs before ending up back between her legs. “Perfect stomach. Ahhh-mazing ass. Like seriously, I stare at it every time you get up. I just wanna… squeeze it.” 

Kristie can’t help but giggle again. “You should. Put your hands all over it,” she smiles down at Sonnett.

“Yeah…” Sonnett breathes out, getting lost in the thought. “K. Yeah, I should,” she mumbles, a wave of nerves finally starting to rush over her and making her feel shy.

“Well go on.”

“Mmm. Your legs are so long. I like it when you wrap them around me,” Sonnett nips at the sensitive skin of Kristie's inner thigh, causing her to jump. 

“Come back up here and I’ll wrap them around you.”

“In a little bit. I was in the middle of something before I was so rudely interrupted.” She runs her tongue through Kristie’s folds, eliciting a long, low hum from the older woman. “You taste amazing.”

“You told me that already,” Kristie says through clenched teeth. 

“Fine, well you do,” Sonnett flicks her tongue against Kristie’s clit and Kristie moans again. “Also, when you-”

“Sonnett stop talking,” Kristie groans.

Sonnett makes a few more passes from Kristie’s hole to her clit, teasing at the swollen bud every time. “When you come, I like that you whisper my name.”

“Damnit, can you please-” the sentence dies in the back of Kristie’s throat as Sonnett’s tongue starts moving again, faster this time.

“Sometimes I come, too, when you come,” Sonnett lets her cool breath hit Kristie’s center as she says it. And yeah, part of it is because she gets so worked up that she can’t help but rub herself against the bed, but that by itself wouldn’t be enough for her to get off; knowing she’s the one responsible for all the sounds Kristie makes can send her over the edge.

“Oh god,” Kristie cries out, hips lifting off the mattress to meet Sonnett’s tongue again, and Sonnett slides her hands under Kristie helping to lift her. Kristie, legs already beginning to tremble, reaches down to touch Sonnett’s temples. 

Sonnett spreads Kristie, rolling her back and supporting the weight of her legs with her broad shoulders. The new angle frees her hands, allowing her to glide them over Kristie’s skin. It leaves the midfielder shivering and breathless, unable to even ask for what she wants, but Sonnett already knows. She lays a heavy hand on Kristie’s lower abdomen and easily slides two fingers inside, smiling against Kristie as she cries out in pleasure. Sonnett works her tongue and fingers in tandem, waiting to feel Kristie’s walls tightening around her fingers and sucking them in.

“Fuck, Sonnett.” There’s that whisper that comes out in a whine, an octave higher than Kristie’s normal voice. Kristie’s fingers tighten in Sonnett’s hair, adjusting her just slightly. “Sonny, I’m-” One more strangled sound fills the room and Kristie’s gone, a mess of squirting and heaving and spasms that leave her muscles so rigid that Sonnett’s fingers have to massage her through it. "Fuck baby, you're so goddamn good. I can't-"

"Shhh," Sonnett kisses her way back up until Kristie is pulling her in so she can taste herself on Sonnett's lips. "Tonight we're only talking about how good you are."

* * *

Sonnett stops a few yards from the terminal. Half the team is there, on a ridiculously early morning flight home through Newark, but her focus is only on Kristie. She’s sitting near the window, slumped over and leaning on her hand, knees pulled up to her chest. Even with the historic feat she just accomplished, Sonnett knew Kristie wouldn’t allow herself the opportunity to bask in that glow for long, her mind already drifting to the future. 

Tokyo. 

A roster of only 18. 

An already overcrowded midfield that, as it is, can’t make room for Rose, Sam, and Lindsey to be on the pitch at the same time. 

The sinking feeling that no matter how hard she works or how much she wants it, she’ll never supplant one of them.

She’ll take her glory where she can get it, won’t diminish her own comeback because she knows better than anyone else what she went through to get back here, but the reality is there in the back of her mind that maybe she’s achieved the peak of her dreams and now begins the downhill slide.

She let as much slip last night, their naked bodies tangled together, eyes heavy with sleep. She felt like she could be vulnerable again, but on an different level, an emotional one. Felt like she could speak her fears aloud to someone who wouldn’t make her regret it.

They talked and kissed and cuddled and talked some more, neither one wanting the darkness to turn to dawn because the sunrise would signal an end to all of this. They fought off the tiredness of camp and the game and the late hour until neither of them was saying anything intelligible. And then, almost as soon as they had let their bodies be overcome with sleep, Sonnett's alarm started blaring from where her phone had become lost in the sheets at some point. It was time to get up and get ready to board the vans to the airport.

Sonnett looks down at the coffees in her hands, takes a deep breath, and heads towards the older woman. She doesn’t know what to do, how to ease Kristie’s mind, but she knows exactly what it feels like to be in a place of uncertainty because she’s been there. She _is_ there, still. She passes by Rose first, setting a coffee in her cup holder. Rose hardly looks up from her book as Sonnett passes. Next, she stops in front of Kristie, offering the other cup. “Special coffee for a special lady?”

Kristie looks up at her and smiles a small smile. “What makes it special?” she asks, leaving Sonnett holding the drink.

“It’s bangers only coffee.” 

Kristie lets out a snort of a laugh. “Whatever. It wasn’t a banger.”

“You know what? If you had tried to score a banger, it probably would have gone over the crossbar like Lynn and Pressy. So yours was a fucking banger because it hit the back of the net. Also, it’s decaf. Figured you’d want to sleep on the plane, you know, since I um… kept you up last night.”

Kristie stifles a grin and nods towards the floor. “Always so thoughtful. Thanks, Sonny. I’ll drink it on the plane.”

Sonnett drops down into the chair beside her and they stare out the window, lulled into silence watching suitcase after suitcase make its way up the conveyor belt and onto the plane. She glances up at the screen; they’re boarding in ten minutes. She takes a deep breath, and it’s dramatic enough that Kristie turns to look at her. Kristie’s face is this mixture of serene and expectant, and it’s enough to convince Sonnett she should be brave. Besides, if she fails, she can always sit next to Kelley for 8 hours, because princess that she is, Kelley needs her beauty sleep and would probably miss all of Sonnett wallowing in self-pity. And, she’s spurred on by the knowledge that she doesn’t have to see Kristie again for… well… ages, probably. “You should go visit Sammy sometime,” she says quietly, trying to force her voice to maintain a casual tone. “Before the NWSL season starts.”

Kristie looks sad. “I’d love to, but unless something changes, I can’t. Two-week quarantine for Americans in England. All that time stuck inside a hotel room _by myself_ really isn’t my jam. Clearly,” she adds with a wink, and Sonnett can’t help it when her lips start to turn up into a smile.

“There’s a way around that, you know,” Sonnett says with a spark in her eye that catches Kristie’s attention.

“Is there?” Kristie shifts in the uncomfortable plastic chair to angle her body towards Sonnett, draping her legs over the armrest and letting her socked feet fall into Sonnett’s lap. There’s nothing about their touchiness that would raise anyone’s suspicions, except maybe Kelley realizing she’s not getting all of Sonnett’s attention, but she’s been furiously tapping away on her phone for a solid ten minutes and seems oblivious to everything going on around her.

“There is,” Sonnett’s confidence grows. “Fly to Sweden. We don’t have any quarantine rules in place. You’d have to stay for a night, I guess, but then you’re free to travel to London from there. You’d just be a hop, skip, and a jump away.”

“Sweden, huh?” Kristie trails a finger along Sonnett’s forearm, smirking as her muscles twitch.

“Stop,” Sonnett whines in a whisper, nervously eyeing their teammates. They’re all still engrossed in their phones or nodding off in nearby chairs.

“You want me to stop?” Kristie questions playfully.

“No. Yes. Fuck! I don’t know what I want. What do you want?” Sonnett asks through gritted teeth.

“I think I want to take you up on that offer.” Kristie stills her finger but leaves her hand on Sonnett’s arm. “Last time you offered something, it worked out pretty well, I think.”

“I mean, _that_ wasn’t exactly what I was offering when I offered…” but Sonnett’s voice trails off as Kristie quirks an eyebrow up. “I was just trying to be a good friend.”

“Mmhmm,” Kristie murmurs like she doesn’t believe it.

“Swear!” It’s a little too insistent, a little too defensive, but truthfully, Kristie was always one of those women Sonnett never dreamed she could pull. “Anyway, if you came, I’d totally put you up for the night, but unfortunately I’m a three-hour train ride away from Stockholm. Probably not practical.”

“I kinda like trains.”

“Do you?” Sonnett’s eyes snap up from Kristie’s legs. She’s still kind of in disbelief over all of this, thinking she’d offer but never really believing Kristie would actually take her up on it.

“What do you want, Sonnett?” Kristie stops their game, turning serious.

“That depends.” Kristie cocks her head to the side, slightly annoyed. “I mean it. It really depends.”

“On?” Kristie gives in.

“On how good of a job I did of making you forget.”

“You did good enough,” Kristie says coyly, returning to stroking Sonnett’s arm.

“Good enough for what?”

“Good enough to make a three-hour train ride to see you worth it. Good enough that I’d hope you wouldn’t make me get a hotel.”

“Never.”

“Good enough that I’d take you for coffee in the morning if you let me. To thank you for letting me crash with you,” Kristie picks up Sonnett’s hands, lacing their fingers together.

Sonnett swallows hard, but for once, she doesn’t really care if any of their teammates see them. Except Sam. She’d rather not deal with Sam, but holding Kristie’s hand overpowers her fear of Kristie’s younger, bigger sister. “They do fika in Sweden.”

“So I’ll take you for coffee twice,” Kristie replies easily.

“We can do that.”

“Sonny?” Kristie asks, suddenly overly focused on their fingers. “What if…” For the first time all week, Kristie sounds really nervous. “What if I want to stay for more than a day?”

“You can stay as long as you want,” Sonnett says softly, squeezing Kristie’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me actually updating something in a timely fashion because it’s for someone else. Imma just pat myself on the back here, thanks.


	4. There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonnett does not relax. How can she? There is an unknown object in a paper bag with a logo on it that Sonnett can’t read because her Duolingo lessons didn’t come with bubble entitled “sex toys,” but she’s pretty sure whatever it says is not discreet and the whole of Gothenburg can read it right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming along for the ride, and for all the support of KMewett. Special thanks to Here_to_read1818 for convincing me to do something I wasn’t quite on board with. I think it turned out ok. And I’ve loved reading all your comments!
> 
> I might have one more chapter in me, but not for awhile, so for now, we’ll say it’s done.

**Conversations in the Dark**

**And Beyond**

Kristie tugs on Sonnett’s jacket, hard enough to make her stumble on the cobblestones and slow down, then hooks their gloved pinkie fingers together. Sonnett’s immediate reaction is to try to get away, but Kristie doesn’t let her, squeezing until it’s almost painful. She’s always a little too much. A little too rough. A little too insistent. A little too fiery. Sometimes, Sonnett feels like she’s fighting for air in Kristie’s presence. Kristie’s not like anyone else she’s been with, and she finds herself craving the older woman the same way she’s left craving oxygen.

“Why are you walking so fast?” Kristie complains.

Sonnett shrugs. “Cold? Dark? Wanna get you home so I can take you to bed? Dunno.”

“I like it here,” Kristie doesn’t allow Sonnett’s pace to pick back up. “I like being here with you.” They walk another hundred yards before Kristie pulls Sonnett into an even darker alley, pushing her up against a stone building.

“Wh- what are you doing?” Sonnett stammers as she seriously considers the possibility that there may never come a point that Kristie doesn’t knock her off kilter like this.

“Trust me.”

“With that devious smile. Not a chance. You forget that Sam has told me all about y’alls childhood. Evil, you are.”

Kristie smirks and kisses her. It’s slow and easy and requires little effort on her part to keep Sonnett up against that wall.

“See. Evil,” Sonnett pulls away to catch her breath. “You’re gonna get us caught.”

“Who’s gonna catch us? No one even recognizes us. We’re just two of a hundred thousand blonde women in this city.”

“Not us. Me.”

“You? Is that right?” Kristie pinches her side.

“Yep. I’m a pretty big deal over here. I don’t know if you saw those posters on the outside of the stadium? The ones with yours truly on them? We can go walk by again if you need another look. Since you seem to like walking around this place and would rather do that than be in my bed.”

“You’re a big deal in the soccer community. You’re not a big deal amongst the general public,” Kristie teases, making sure to knock her down a peg. “Same as you are back home. None of us are. Well maybe Alex, but no one else. You realize you can take me on a date when you come home and no one would know, right?”

“A date?” Sonnett chokes out. _Wouldn’t we have to be... dating for that_? she wonders, but doesn’t dare ask. Every second with Kristie makes her feel lucky - and makes her feel like she shouldn’t press that luck - so she really hadn’t thought much about a date.

“Yes, a date. How long do you think you’re gonna keep getting all _this_ without taking me somewhere nice?” Kristie twirls for her, just in case Sonnett’s forgotten what she has. “We need to take a detour,” Kristie tugs her hand, leading her down the alley until it opens onto a larger street. She pulls her phone out of her pocket to check it quickly. “Yep, this is the one. Almost there.”

Sonnett follows along, curious but rather unconcerned, until Kristie stops. “Oh god, Kristie. No!” Sonnett buries her head in her hands when she looks through the window of the shop Kristie has taken her to.

“No? Are you sure? Because I really, really need this, babe,” Kristie inches closer until she’s up against Sonnett, letting her hand trail down the shorter woman’s stomach. “Like really, _really_ need this. Come on.”

Sonnett stays cemented to her spot on the sidewalk, letting Kristie pull on her arm uselessly.

“Seriously?” Kristie can’t believe that wasn’t enough to do it for Sonny. “Come inside with me.”

“Nope.”

“What do you mean nope?”

“I mean, not a chance in hell am I going in there with you.”

“Don’t you want to help pick? The color at least?”

“The color of what?” Sonnett screeches.

“Sonny,” Kristie gives her a look. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been in a sex shop.”

“I have. Kelley dragged me into one because she said she needed something for her girlfriend and I am not going back inside one. Ever.”

Kristie stares at her, on the verge of laughing before she relents. “Fine. Go to that bakery over there. Get us something for dessert, and I’ll be right back,” she says, giving Sonnett a tap on the butt to get her moving on her way, which she reluctantly does, because it’s better than going inside with Kristie.

A few minutes later, Kristie is crossing the street, bag swinging under her arm. “All done, let’s go home.” Her voice is sing-songy and flirty, light in a way that Sonnett cannot fathom because she still feels like she’s in full-on panic mode. Kristie tucks her arm around Sonnett’s elbow and immediately feels the tension in her body. “Relax,” she whispers as she places a peck on Sonnett’s cheek.

Sonnett does not relax. How can she? There is an unknown object in a paper bag with a logo on it that Sonnett can’t read because her Duolingo lessons didn’t come with bubble entitled “sex toys,” but she’s pretty sure whatever it says is not discreet and the whole of Gothenburg can read it right now.

She can’t relax when she gets back to her apartment, either, not with Kristie sprawled out on her couch staring at her expectantly but not saying a word, like she’s waiting until Sonnett can’t take it anymore. Not when she still doesn’t know what’s in the bag (even if she can probably guess). And not when Kristie turns down her offer of dessert and coffee, and instead pulls Sonnett down on top of her.

“Sonny, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something’s wrong? What’s wrong with you? You asked for dessert and now-”

“That’s dessert for after dessert,” Kristie winks. “Don’t you want to know what’s in the bag.”

“I do not.”

“I think you do. Or at least you should,” Kristie reaches behind her to grab it off the end table.

“Look,” she opens it up so Sonnett can peak inside. “Aren’t you gonna say anything?” Kristie asks after a minute.

When Sonnett finally does speak, the words come tumbling out of her mouth in a fractured string. “I haven’t... it’s been a long time... and even then, it’s not like it was something we did... often. I’m not... this isn’t my thing... I’m not like... good. At it. Am I doing something wrong? Is the sex not good?” Her rambling ends with her voice frenzied and higher in pitch.

Kristie laughs softly and kisses her forehead. “Oh sweetheart, the sex is so good. _So, so_ good. You have to know that. I mean, I flew all the way over here for you.”

“For Sam,” Sonnett corrects her.

“Fine, I came for Sam and stayed for the sex.” And other things that Kristie doesn’t really know if she should admit at the moment, but she’s getting closer everyday and sharing her feelings is starting to seem more and more inevitable.

“Then why? Why do you need that?”

“Because I want to feel you fill me,” Kristie’s voice is gravely in Sonnett’s ear. “And because I want a different kind of connection with you, Em. _More_ of a connection. Deeper.”

 _Em_.

It gives her butterflies that she hasn’t felt in a long time. Butterflies that she can’t ignore, because it doesn’t sound like it’s coming from a place of Kristie just trying to convince her. It sounds like more. “But pink?” she questions, trying to deflect from her feelings.

“I told you to come in with me. You can pick the next one.”

“Next one?” Sonnett squeaks.

“Different shapes, different sizes, different uses.” She laughs at the tortured look on Sonnett’s face. “We’ll be fine,” Kristie promises, skating her hands up and down Sonnett’s side under her hoodie, but Sonnett just shakes her head like she doesn’t believe it. “Just try for me, please? We’ll go slow. Could be fun,” she adds, her voice turning up hopefully at the end.

“I-” Sonnett doesn’t even know what to say. She wants to say yes and no at the same time. She wants to give Kristie anything and everything she wants, and well, she can’t help but think about how maybe she wants it too. Her body wants it at least, even if her mind is stuck over-thinking. She can feel that twinge in her pussy. She knows she’s wet already. The signs are undeniable, but she also hates doing things when she doesn’t feel completely competent in her abilities. And Kristie is one giant reminder that she’s probably not competent in that department. In a lot of departments, honestly.

“We’ll stop whenever you want. Promise. We won’t do anything that you don’t want to.”

 _Great_ , Sonnett thinks, _then you’ll be even more disappointed._

Kristie seems to be able to read her. “If it makes you too uncomfortable at any point, all you have to do is tell me and we will go right back to that amazing tongue of yours,” Kristie pulls Sonnett in for a deep kiss, sucking Sonnett’s tongue into her mouth. “And these amazing fingers,” Kristie takes Sonnett’s hand, sliding it between their bodies and under the waistband of her pants so that Sonnett can feel the dampness already soaking through her underwear. “And I’ll let you make me come until your jaw hurts.”

“Oh you’ll let me?” Sonnett quirks an eyebrow up.

“If you’re lucky,” Kristie scrunches her nose when she smiles. “Come on,” she sits up, lifting Sonnett with her, and wraps the younger woman up in her arms, walking behind her as they slowly make their way down the hall. “I’ll undress first,” she nibbles on Sonnett’s neck, stopping just short of the bed.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Sonnett asks.

“It better!” Kristie teases, lifting her sweater over her head.

It does. A little, at least. The view Sonnett gets of Kristie’s breasts brings enough normalcy back to the situation. “I- I can do that,” she stammers, stepping into Kristie’s space and fumbling with the button on her jeans.

Kristie patiently places her sure hands on top of Sonnett’s trembling hands. She helps Sonnett with the button and with getting the rest of her clothes onto the floor. And then she takes her time adding Sonnett’s clothes to the pile. One piece at a time, hands and mouth exploring the younger woman’s body as she shivers with nerves and anticipation. Once Sonnett is completely naked and vulnerable, Kristie pulls her as close as possible. The skin on skin contact warms her. Relaxes her. And through it, Kristie tries to convey what she’s feeling without words, how much she cares, how much she meant it when she said she wanted to experience a deeper level together. “Sonny,” she whispers gently, nuzzling her neck. There’s a moment where she’s afraid to break the connection they’re forming exploring each other’s bodies in the low light, but there’s also an ache she feels deep inside that isn’t going to go away like this. “I want you so bad. I want to feel you inside of me. Would that be ok?” Kristie feels Sonnett nod against her and she separates herself only to get a little whine of protest from the loss of contact. She gets that, because those seconds feel agonizing long. Painful almost. And all she wants is to be back wrapped up in the safety that Sonnett provides.

“I don’t even know what to do with this,” Sonnett looks at her helplessly.

“I know, babe,” Kristie stares straight into her eyes. “Just relax.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sonnett mumbles. “Expert.”

“At wearing one, yeah. But this is going to be new for us. Something new to try together.”

It takes Sonnett a second before she understands what Kristie meant when she said she wanted something different.

Kristie kneels before her, helping her step into the harness. She pulls it up and begins to adjust the straps, and Sonnett’s left wondering if Kristie can hear her heart beating out of her chest. “Come sit with me.” Kristie leans back against the headboard, spreading her legs so Sonnett can sit between them. She pulls Sonnett back against her, absentmindedly playing with her nipples. Sonnett squirms against her, closer to relaxing but still not fully there. “What do you need to relax? A massage?” Kristie’s long fingers dig into the tense muscles on either side of Sonnett’s neck, and Sonnett can’t help but relax back into it.

“More like an entire bottle of alcohol.”

“Well then you’d be worthless for the rest of the night, and that would be no fun,” Kristie pouts. She drops her hand to the cock between Sonnett’s legs, slowly stroking it’s length, and Sonnett’s eyes are transfixed on the rhythmic movements. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, sweetie,” Kristie reminds her.

Sonnett gasps as Kristie presses the base of he cock a little harder against her clit. “You know you just have to tell me to stop. Anytime you need. Right?” Sonnett gulps and nods and Kristie begins to work her way out from under the younger woman’s body. “God, you look good,” Kristie’s eyes rake over Sonnett’s body from her new position between her legs. She leans in to kiss her, and in one fell swoop, grips Sonnett by the hips and pulls her farther down onto the mattress.

“What are you doing?” Sonnett panics, pushing herself up onto her elbows in a frenzy. Kristie’s tongue is hanging out of her mouth, running over the tip of the cock. She looks up at Sonnett from under her long eyelashes, but doesn’t say a word, closing her mouth around the tip and watching Sonnett’s face. “You know I- I- I- can’t feel that why- oooohh!” a low moan escapes from Sonnett’s lips as Kristie takes more of the cock into her mouth, pressing the base against her clit again.

Kristie reaches up blindly for Sonnett’s hands and when she finds them, she tangles them in her own hair. And then Sonnett gets it. Kristie on her knees, ass in the air, taking the whole length of the cock into her mouth. The sloppy sounds. The strings of saliva. The way it grinds against her clit. And Sonnett’s hands are really just along for the ride, but it doesn’t matter. The visual is otherworldly.

It’s a baptism by fire, for sure.

Kristie feels Sonnett’s thighs trembling under her hands and pulls off the cock with a pop, not wanting to overwhelm the timid woman so early in the evening. She lunges forward to kiss Sonnett again, letting the cock rub against her stomach. “I wanna ride your dick, stud.” Before Sonnett can gather herself enough to form a sentence, she’s already snapped the cap open on the lube and is applying it to the dildo and Sonnett is left to collapse back onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling helplessly.

Kristie takes Sonnett’s hand in hers, kisses it, and places it on the base of the cock so Sonnett can help guide it in. It’s an almost out of body experience, watching Kristie slowly lower herself onto it, taking her time to stretch around its girth before really grinding down. The way she moves, slow and sensual, head thrown back, back arched, touching herself, is mesmerizing. Sonnett’s hands drift to Kristie’s ass, squeezing as Kristie bounces up and down on her. She’s thankful that Kristie’s taking control of the rhythm and speed; she’s more thankful for the view, Kristie’s breasts bobbing along and her abs flexing. 

“Kris, you’re so fucking hot,” Sonnett blurts out, and Kristie preens under that praise, relishing the attention.

She moves one of Sonnett’s hands around to her front, encouraging Sonnett takeover stimulating her clit so she can play with her nipples. Instinctively, Sonnett’s fingers on her clit match the pace of Kristie’s hips. Within no time, she feels Sonnett’s hips start to move under her, just barely. All of the sensations bring her so close, but she doesn’t want to come like this, with space between them. She falls forward onto Sonnett’s chest, giving her no angle to continue rubbing her clit, but the new position hits just right inside. “Fuck, baby! Oh fuck!” She can’t hold back any longer, clenching around the cock as she comes. 

Sonnett feels the difference in Kristie’s weight on her, the way she’s absolutely collapsed and unable to support herself. Their chests rise and fall together, bodies flushed and sweaty. One minute, Sonnett is calm and content, gently stroking Kristie’s back; the next, she doesn’t know what to do, still inside her, still holding her as her body is occasionally wracked by a tremor. “Are you ok?” she whispers, not letting go of Kristie.

“Totally ok. Are you?” Kristie props her chin on her hands so she can see Sonnett’s face.

“So good.” Sonnett smiles. “Can you…?”

Kristie raises her eyebrows. “Oh yeah? Heck yeah!”

Sonnett flips them, still inside Kristie, with confidence and skill that sends a delicious sinking feeling through Kristie’s stomach.

“Ohhhh,” she moans as Sonnett pushes farther inside of her.

“Are you still ok?”

Kristie can hear the hesitancy finding its way into Sonnett’s voice. “Mmhmm. Not a rookie after all." Sonnett grins. "Stop worrying and just fuck me.”

Sonnett does, even though it feels like her hips are moving involuntarily, like her body knows what to do even though she feels like _she_ doesn’t know what to do. The noises Kristie’s making tell her she must be doing something right as she pulls partway out and slides back in in a steady tempo. And then Kristie cants her hips up, wrapping her legs around Sonnett and the sounds become louder as Sonnett fucks her deeper. “Fuck me, baby! Don’t stop fucking me!” Her words fade into the unintelligible and Sonnett struggles to focus, her own clit hard against the base of the dildo. She arches up to meet Sonnett’s rhythm. They’re barely moving against each other, but it’s more than enough for both women, their sensitivity heightened. Sonnett feels Kristie’s body writhing in pleasure under her and she works hard to give Kristie what she needs even though it’s exhausting, her breath coming out in hot puffs against Kristie’s neck. “Yes! Oh God yes!” Kristie trembles through her orgasm with Sonnett coming silently behind her.

“Baby,” Kristie can barely speak as Sonnett rolls off of her once they’ve both recovered. She helps Sonnett undo the harness and throws it to the other side of the bed. “Em,” she murmurs again, this time against Sonnett’s neck. There are so many things she wants to say, but she decides against all of them, letting exhaustion overcome her even though she could fight it off. Once again, she finds herself too emotional, just for a different reason this time.

* * *

“You packed your new toy, right?” Sonnett nudges Kristie’s shoulder to get her to open her eyes, and flashes her trademark grin. She’s sad about Kristie leaving - sadder than she should be - but she can’t verbalize that. She’s glad she’s able to joke about it now that they used it enough over the course of the past few days and she finally got over some of her uncomfortableness. Joking is what she does when she doesn’t know how to deal with feelings, and she has a lot of unresolved ones right now. She doesn’t know where they stand, except that they probably don’t _stand_ anywhere. She’s probably just supposed to assume that they’ll fuck when they see each other, until one of them gets into a relationship. Well, until Kristie gets into a relationship, because there’s no way a woman who looks like _that_ stays single long.

“No,” Kristie squints at her through the mid-afternoon sun, trying to figure out if she’s serious. “I left it in your bathroom.”

“What? No! Why?” Sonnett sits halfway up in a panic.

“Just bring it with you when you come home.”

Sonnett stares at her, mouth agape. “No! No, no, I’m not gonna do that.”

“I travel with one all the time. It’s fine. But put it in your carry-on, and then watch them when they scan your bag. It’s hilarious. Totally worth it. Some of their expressions are priceless. I took a picture of a guy once. But then I got yelled at because apparently,” Kristie continues, but Sonnett is no longer listening, “you’re not supposed to take pictures of their terrorist-catching equipment or something. Whatever.”

Sonnett’s face is already bright red, and it spreads to the tip of her ears.

_All the time._

_Rachel._

_Last night. And the night before that. And the night before that..._

_TSA._

The thoughts overwhelm her, leaving her unable to speak. So maybe she’s not as used to the newness of this as she had hoped.

And Kristie just stares at her with these bright, smiling eyes, relishing in Sonnett’s obvious discomfort. “You’re so shy, Sonny. It’s kinda cute.”

Kinda cute doesn’t seem like enough to cut it with Kristie. Kristie, who’s sophisticated and sexy and confident and classy and hot and…

“How about one more fika before I have to go?” Kristie interrupts her thoughts.

“Will you just get the cinnamon bun this time? It’s the best. You _know_ it’s the best.”

“No,” Kristie pouts, snuggling closer to Sonnett as they wait in line. It’s cold, but the Bostonian is fine in her down coat and beanie; she just likes the excuse, and the way Sonnett’s cheeks flush, not from the cold. “I want that,” she points at a heart-shaped pastry covered in powdered sugar.

Sonnett sighs, knowing damn well that Kristie’s just going to eat half of her cinnamon bun, too. “En kandelbulle och en vaniljhjarta, tack.” She follows Kristie to a table by the sidewalk. She can’t help but giggle at Kristie’s lips, coated in white powder, after the first bite of her pastry. She reaches over and wipes a bit that’s fallen onto Kristie’s chin off with her thumb. 

With catlike reflexes, Kristie catches Sonnett’s wrist and sucks the sugar off her thumb, leaving Sonnett bright red and shaking her head again. “One day, you’re gonna kiss me in public and this kind of thing won’t even phase you,” Kristie assures her. “Are you gonna finish that?” she asks, eying the cinnamon bun.

“Sugar monster!” Sonnett teases, tearing the bun in half and scooting her plate across the table. But it’s nice to have someone to steal her food again.

“Sonny?” Kristie, long since finished with her coffee and with little else in the way of a distraction, reaches across the table to rub the back of Sonnett’s hand with her thumb. 

For the first time Sonnett can remember, Kristie’s voice is so unsure that it gets Sonnett’s attention. “Hmm?” Sonnett pauses with the mug against her lips.

“I don’t know if you’re maybe wondering, but you’ve done good enough that I don’t need you to help me forget anymore. I think maybe I’m ready for new memories.”

Sonnett’s eyes snap up to hers at that. _Is this really Kristie being like, “You were a good fuck, thank you for helping me get over her”? And if it is, which it probably is, why didn’t she prepare herself for this exact scenario? I wasn’t even a rebound_ , she chastises herself. _I fucking knew this going in._

Kristie recognizes the hurt in Sonnett’s eyes right before she looks away, oddly similar to the betrayal she felt from Rachel: unwanted and so easily tossed aside. “No, baby,” she scoots her chair closer and reaches up to tuck a few stray strands of blonde hair behind Sonnett’s ear. She leaves her hand on Sonnett’s cheek, softly tapping on her jawline with the pads of her fingers.

It doesn’t make Sonnett feel any better, being pitied like this. It makes her want to get away.

“With you, Em,” Kristie says, pretending to be exasperated. She can’t keep the feigned attitude up for long because Sonnett’s expression turns to one of shock, and her pure innocence and well, Kristie can only describe what she sees in Sonnett’s eyes at that moment as joy, make her downright irresistible. She mouths something, but no sound escapes. It looks like “ _Really_?” to Kristie. She closes the distance between them and places the softest kiss she can muster on this sweet girl’s lips. And it’s hard. Hard to not devour her because all she wants to do is show her - make her understand - just how desired and appreciated and cared for she is. But they’re at a café and she can only push Sonnett’s discomfort so far on one visit. “I want to make new memories with you, you moron.”

“Fine,” Sonnett kisses her back quickly, and when she breaks the kiss, she has the biggest smile on her face. “But you’re the one who’s gonna tell Sam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never really taken a request before, but this was kinda fun (other than the incessant feeling that I was going to disappoint someone because I wasn't writing it for me). I suppose if you want to hit me up on tumblr (whydoiwrite), go for it!


End file.
